Something Thoughtful

 Nicholas Reid reflects in essay form on general matters and ideas related to literature, history, popular culture and the arts, or just life in general. You are free to agree or disagree with him.  

     … AND I’D LIKE TO THANK MY PET CHIHUAHUA

            Once upon a time, when publishers and poets were more modest, a collection of poetry might be introduced by a title page and might end with a few very brief acknowledgements – perhaps naming one or two editors or mentors, and perhaps noting one or two poems that had been inspired by other poets.

            But that was it.

            Then gradually, it became de rigueur to use the acknowledgements page to “explain” some of the poems’ more obscure vocabulary and clarify the origin of some poems. I admit that I did this myself when my two collections of poetry were published.

            But now the acknowledgements pages in poetry collections are becoming longer and more and more grandiose, acknowledging so many texts and mentors and vague acquaintances that one wonders if the poet is working off promises made to friends, family and colleagues.

            Recently, I came across a poetry collection with acknowledgements running to quite a few pages, quite separate from even more pages explaining the poems.

            It went more-or-less like this:

            “First I must thank my wonderful mentors and tutors Rolly Polly, Dorian Dumdiggle, Helen Highpoint, Willy Noddle, H.Q. ffolkes, Molly Tinpicker, Ihaka Eisenhower, Kyle Werewolf, Huihana O’Shaughnessy, Charlie Birchtree, Francesca P. Morton, Makareta Finch, Sarah Snide, Joseph Clueberry, Jason Clueberry and the whole Clueberry family, all of whom are stalwarts in my Creative Writing Workshop and all of whom contributed to my villanelle “the womb is a sea of sorrows”. They were great in our mutual-criticism seminars, helpfully amending unintended tropes that had creeped into my third and fourth drafts. Where would I be without you? I should also acknowledge the Mormon Tabernacle Choir master and Steve the janitor, who both engaged with me in fruitful discussions about the proper use of the word “cabbage” as seen in my rap “sinking figment / sailing trash”. Special thanks to Professor Marian Diddly of the School of Sociology and Applied Masochism who critiqued my poems about wage differentials in Bratislava in the 1870s. Her advice was crucial to the sequence “the ants are on the march”.

            Thank you so much Sophia Grimblecorn for pushing me to finish my first draft. All those intense discussions we had – but it was worth it! Professor Jim Gailsforth I was so glad you took the time to share coffee, croissants and chat whenever I was discouraged. You showed me how to replace the word “awkward” with “ungainly” in line three of “I am being oppressed by the capitalist system”. As you said, the word was more appropriate to a bourgeois sensibility. Maria Stalker how can I thank you? Your erudition taught me that there are languages other than Maori and English and it was such a revelation to hear you reciting “The Saga of Swirri” in the original Icelandic. I hope my “misogyny in Reykjavik” lives up to your expectations.

            I thank the whole School of Humanities of the University of Taumarunui for supporting me and bringing to court a case for me to have my student allowance enlarged. The judge made the right decision. I thank you Judge Boulderbridge. I thank the University Press of Taumarunui for including me in their annual anthology Fresh Voices. What an excellent editor Kath Noodle is and what an honour it was to have two of my poems published alongside work by Craig Fumble, Hori Ti Huna, Agnes Merchant, Hugh Holler, Megs Stout and Rolly Riley! I would not have achieved anything without the support of Schrunch!, the campus students’ magazine and their generous poetry supplement. You are great editors Kelly, Myrtle, Ahurewa, Mike, Stephanie, Beau, Arapita, Watson, Iain, Josette, Ihaka, Ern, Kane, Maurice, Morris, Boris and Squidge. Keep schrunching! I love you all. How empty my life would have been if we had not all gone to the Heavy Metal and Climate Awareness Festival. A real eye-opener and great fun in the tent we shared.

            I would not have become a poet without the encouragement of my teachers at Sargeson High. I will always remember Mr Frodo Halligan in Year 11 giving me extra tuition in spelling and prosody after school hours. His readings from the Selected Poems of Aleister Crowley opened me up to new possibilities. Ms. Margaret Fruitful was more methodical in Years 12 and 13 but never discouraging and commended me on being literate when I left school. I remember them both with thanks. I am also indebted to Sargeson High’s performing arts classes whare we learnt how to use our voices most effectively. The LA-LAW-LOW-LO exercise has continued to influence my structuring of lines.

            I couldn’t have had better parents than Horace and Ethel. They have been the model of patience as they waited for my poems to be published. You nearly gave up on me, didn’t you Dad? But you did come through in the end, so thanks Dad!! Otto, Emerald, Jasmine and Oliver, you’re as good as any brothers and sisters could be ; and Oliver, I apologise for calling you “stinky pants” for so many years. I hope you knew I was joking!! I adore the memory of my great-aunt Lucrezia Gump. We still join in a special yearly commemoration of her tragic death when she fell into a cess pit while looking for great-uncle Wesley.

            I am blessed with so many true and intimate friends - Alice , Agatha, Adolph, Doris, Seamus, Olive, Simon, Jassy, Elroy, Bartholomew, Shane, Sean, Sheila, Humphrey, Dirk, Derick, Samson Agonistes, Rene, Renee, Augusta, Augustus, Heinrich Hoffmann, Trevor, Lola, Eddie, W. H. Hudson, Barry, Barrie, Gilles de Rais, Eloise, Catherine, Hone, James, Jacques, Giovanni, John, Jan, Hans, Oscar, Petronella, Madison, Clint, Paris, Jean-Jacques, Pierre-Jean, Bruce, Mary, Marie, Raywin, Lorraine, Charmaine, Kim, Edward, Eddie, Mitchell, Michelle, Victor, Vincent, Katy, Rhonda, Robert, Dylan, Siobhan, Gollum, Ida, Alfred, Patrick, Molly, Wystan, Cecil, Stephen, Steven, Roy, Francis, Frances, Matthew, Mark, Luke, Elizabeth, Dolly, Hayden, Rory and my boyfriend. I am buoyed by the intimacy they have all shared with me, the inspiration that have incited in me, and their positive criticism. So many wonderful times!!!

            And finally I’d like to thank my pet chihuahua Frida. She knows I am always there for her and she is thoughtfully quiet when I am writing.