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We feature each week Nicholas Reid's reviews and comments on new and recent books.
We feature each week Nicholas Reid's reviews and comments on new and recent books.
“MY FATHER’S ISLAND – A Memoir” by Adam
Dudding (Victoria University Press, $35)
About
a third of the way into My Father’s
Island, Adam Dudding sums up the adult life of his father Robin Dudding
thus:
“The young man gets married, goes into
publishing, has kids, smokes too much, carves out a big reputation in the small
world of New Zealand letters, loses his mojo, alienates people, gets older,
dies.” (p.71)
If an adult life
could be covered in one sentence, then that would just about do the business.
Robin Dudding
married Lois Miller in the 1950s and the two of them set up house at Torbay on
Auckland’s North Shore. They had a larger-than-average family, six children:
their five daughters being followed by their only son, Adam. Robin Dudding
first became widely known for editing the literary magazine Mate when it was turned over to him by
Kevin Ireland. He moved with the family to Christchurch, where he edited Landfall for six years (1966-72) until
he had a major dispute with the controller of Caxton Press and was fired.
Returning to Auckland, he started and edited his own literary periodical Islands, with the support of some of the
old guard from Landfall, who did not
like the way Landfall was developing.
Robin Dudding and his periodical were greatly esteemed, but Robin Dudding
(whose earnings were basically hand-to-mouth) had great difficulty both
supporting his family and keeping up his editorship. Gaps between the
appearance of each issue of Islands
became longer and longer until the publication finally folded. In his last
decades, Robin Dudding quarrelled with people (family and others). He had black
moods and bouts of depression. Throughout his life, he smoked like a chimney. He
died in 2008, of emphysema.
So Adam
Dudding’s one-sentence summary of his dad’s life has much truth to it. But such
simple reductionism is not what Adam Dudding is on about. My Father’s Island clearly subtitles itself a “memoir”. It is a
work of memory – not a formal biography – and it is as much about the author’s
childhood and his relationship with both parents as it is about Robin Dudding.
It is also a
work with a complex viewpoint. Adam Dudding is aware of the fallibility of his
own memory. In one of the opening chapters he tells an anecdote, referring in
part to a short story his father published, which neatly skewers the gap
between his father’s professed sympathy for feminist ideas, and his real
domineering attitude to his much-put-upon wife Lois. In one of the closing
chapters, Adam Dudding revisits the same anecdote and discovers that his memory
has played him false. Research has shown him that he misremembered the details
of the published short story he quoted, and he had placed his anecdote at the
wrong time in his father’s life. He still believes there was a gap between his
father’s expressed ideals and his practice, but the story that epitomised this
for him proves not to be objectively true.
An accomplished
journalist by profession, Adam Dudding is frequently self-deprecating about his
own ability to write. He remarks:
“The truth remains… that I don’t really know
how to write this book. In my day job I’ve written hundreds of newspaper
features, a task which generally consists of agonising over the introductory
paragraph then racing against a deadline to write down everything you know
about a subject of which you were entirely ignorant two days earlier. But these
stories have seldom exceeded 3000 words. I’m not sure I know how to keep things
coherent across the longer span of a book, with chapters and everything.”
(p.70)
He is equally
self-deprecating about his own life experience, remarking of the time he spent
overseas as a younger adult:
“I spent three years… being one of those
mid-20s antipodean moochers on their OE who feels like they’re vaguely
counter-cultural and forging their own unique history, but is actually
selecting from a standardised menu of procrastinatory options.” (pp.95-96)
Adam Dudding
makes many such remarks in My Father’s
Island and there is clearly an underlying reason for doing so. Each time he
jocularly puts himself down, he is reminding himself of his own flaws and
implicitly reining himself in from being too hard about his father’s flaws, many
though they were. There’s a strong element of forgiveness here. The forgiveness
is found as well in the chapter where the son considers his father’s father –
Ernest Dudding, a strong-minded and rather disciplinarian chap against whom
Robin rebelled. Adam is aware that his father’s depression increased after old
Ernest died, perhaps because Robin no longer had Ernest’s straight-laced
notions to push against. And in writing this, Adam Dudding can’t help being
aware of how perilous it is for a son to judge a father too harshly anyway.
(Judgemental old Ernest did keep bohemian Robin afloat with cash when things
got really tough.)
Adam Dudding
also knows that his best research can be flawed. The task of trawling through
his father’s papers at the Turnbull library clearly defeats him (Chapter 3) and
he abandons the idea of a formal, academic-type biography. One of his chief
interviewees is his widowed mother, but he says:
“My mother is an unusually difficult
interview subject. Even when she isn’t evading a question, the neurological
scrambling from her stroke can turn any conversation into a semantic adventure.”
(p.91)
Then there is
his wariness about the nice things many people say about his father’s public
achievements. Adam Dudding seeks out literati to give their views on his
father’s abilities as an editor (Chapter 9). They range from Bill Manhire to
Maurice Gee, Witi Ihimaera to Patrick Evans, Kevin Ireland to C.K.Stead. All
have positive things to say about Robin Dudding’s ability to foster the work of
younger writers, offer intelligent advice on texts submitted to him, and edit
diligently. But Adam Dudding is realistic enough to preface their remarks with
a statement of his awareness that they may be merely tactful when speaking to
Robin’s son. And besides, he knows of the informal “omerta” which makes some Kiwi
writers avoid forthright public statements about the frequent literary feuds
and bitcheries that occur in the shallow pool of NZ Lit.
Through research
and through interviews, Adam Dudding pieces together a portrait of his father,
but this is above all a work of memory and of shared family anecdote. Parts of
the Dudding offspring’s childhood were idyllic. Robin could be a devoted
father, good at games and explorations and general holiday fun. Says Adam:
“If you’d asked me before I was 10 what I
thought of my Dad I’d have said he was the best dad around. He was a bit like
how you might imagine God: strong, potentially scary when wrathful but usually
kind and gentle, there when you needed him, patient, wise, omniscient, big
beard. I guess a lot of boys think much the same before they’re 10.”
(pp.169-170)
But there was
always the worry of money. The too-small house at Torbay with the too-large
family was a place where piles of books threatened to topple off the makeshift
bookshelves, maintenance was never done, things were shabby, the dunny was
outside and down a set of slippery steps, chickens wandered the small lawn
waiting to be slaughtered for dinner, and the little shed, in which Islands was edited, leaked and
threatened to fall down.
Robin himself
was apparently quite satisfied with the bohemianism of all this, but it did
lead to family tensions.
Robin had the
habit of verbally belittling visitors, even his children’s schoolmates. Neither
he nor Lois seemed to notice that little Adam’s uncut long blonde hair led to
him suffering some bullying at school for being too girly. Robin lost his
temper if other capable people (such as his daughters’ boyfriends) ventured to
do some of the repair work that he himself never got around to. And he
deliberately made it hard for his wife to undertake the study she needed to do,
when she wanted to earn the family some real income for the family by
qualifying as a teacher. Says Adam of his research for this book:
“I already know first-hand about the
anxieties of the 1980s, but what I’m surprised to discover is that even when
his career and family life and his physical and mental health were at their
peak, Dad was always running hard to stand still, always on the brink of
calamity. There was never enough time or money or energy. He was always
behind with the gardening, with his bills, with house repairs, with the latest
magazine deadline. The surprising thing isn’t that he eventually ran out of
puff; it’s that he didn’t do so much earlier.” (p.43)
Perhaps Adam’s
sharpest remarks about the way the family lived are the ones suggesting a sort
of reverse snobbery that infects some “alternative” people. He writes:
“We all knew our family was a bit unusual,
and that no one else had an outdoor toilet or a parents’ double bed in the
living room. We knew other people didn’t have holes in their floors and
ceilings, or a shower that worked only if you bunged up the bath tap with a
whittled-down wine-bottle cork then retightened the loop of baling twine that
kept the shower pipe firmly attached to the taps, because if you didn’t you
were liable to be scalded by horizontal jets of hot water shooting out at
knee-level.
Yet although we felt duly embarrassed by those things,
by some quirk of confidence we also knew these things made us superior. From
our tumbledown shack behind a mad bamboo hedge we sat in judgement of the rest
of the world and found it slightly wanting. Looking back, I suspect this
misplaced confidence, this feeling that other people were not quite up to
snuff, was something we’d learnt from Dad.”
(pp.190-191)
I hope this
review has made it clear that My Father’s
Island is a varied and extremely well-written book, informed by its
author’s sharp eye for physical detail and interesting way with anecdotes, as
well as by his self-awareness. He nerves himself to probe the matter of whether
his father had extra-marital affairs, as some in the literary world had
gossiped he had. His researches suggest his dad might have had one affair in
his Christchurch days, but he seems mainly to have been a “serial non-adulterer” (p.179), often flattered to be pursued by
earnest young literary women who took his attentions for something else.
I’ll close this
notice with two particularly good pieces of self-criticism on Adam Dudding’s
part. In the first he notes how a valid criticism can grow into an habitual and
unreasonable grudge:
“Your teenage years are when you’re meant to
notice parents aren’t the godlike figures you’d once imagined – it’s your
evolutionary programming telling you it’s time to leave the nest – individuate,
grow up – isn’t it? Somehow, though, at the same time I was figuring out the
precise composition and dimensions of my father’s flaws, I grew over-fond of
the feeling of righteous indignation that went with it. I found myself almost
incapable of talking to him except to criticise him, and over time we settled
into twin ruts – querulous complaint on my part, mute wounded dignity on his –
and we never quite climbed back out of them.” (p.220)
And in the
second, very near the end, he fears that he may have poured on the misery too
much in chronicling the Dudding household:
“I’m worried… that I might have exaggerated
my memories; that I’m trying to squeeze Angela’s Ashes out of a
situation that was really more Cider with Rosie.” (p.232)
I don’t think
there’s any reasonable fear of an intelligent reader taking My Father’s Island that way. This is an
account of a flawed, fallible father and his family written by a
self-confessedly flawed, fallible son. It’s as much sunshine as rain and it
presents that particular problem of the creative person who just can’t balance
his creative needs with the needs of his family.
First (irreverent) footnote: Ten years ago (16 September 2006, to be precise), I reviewed for
the NZ Listener Professor Tim
Beaglehole’s biography of his father Professor J.C.Beaglehole. In that book, the
younger Beaglehole, like the younger Dudding, had to deal delicately with his
father’s infidelity. Last year (31 October 2015 to be precise) I reviewed for
the Listener Martin Edmond’s The Dreaming Land, about his first
eighteen years as the son of Trevor and Lauris Edmond. Martin Edmond had
earlier written an account of his parents disintegrating marriage Autobiography of my Father. Children
writing about their parents is nothing new – especially sons writing about
their fathers. But as I read Adam Dudding’s take on Robin Dudding, I couldn’t
help thinking how all literary figures should try to live exemplary lives if
they are raising articulate children. Especially New Zealand ones.
Second (admiring) footnote:
As a youngster, Adam Dudding was a little embarrassed by a photo of his bare-
and ample-breasted mother breast-feeding when he was newborn. His father had
the photo framed and hung on the wall. It is reproduced in the photo section of
My Father’s Island and it is quite
beautiful.
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