Something

   Nicholas Reid reflects in essay form on general matters and ideas related to literature, history, popular culture and the arts, or just life in general. You are free to agree or disagree with him.    

                                   ROYALTY ARE NOT GODS                    

In the Nineteenth Century, in the reign of Queen Victoria, the wise Walter Bagehot said that the only thing keeping Royalty going was “mystery” and having a “dignified role”. Famously he said “Its mystery is its life. We must not let in daylight upon magic.” What he was clearly telling his readers was that kings and queens are not outstanding people and are not always wise… and common people would be disappointed if they saw or knew about the behaviour of royalty in their ordinary lives, including sexual matters. Royalty are usually mediocre.

Obviously I am leading you to think about the [former] Prince Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor. Thirty or so years ago it was common for happy pundits to call him “Randy Andy” as if it were all a jolly joke. Now he has been found to be a lecher who has sexually messed up the lives of under-age girls, leading at least one to commit suicide. He has also made illegal deals with shady entrepreneurs. His mother, the late queen, often said that Andrew was her favourite child. It seems obvious that he was particularly pampered by his mother and thought in some way that he was beyond the law. Remember, too, that he took – with his mother’s approved – a large wad out of the common purse to pay off one the young women he had sexually messed with.

But then I’m not too surprised by all this. Kings, queens and other royalty in many countries often saw themselves as above the law in one way or another. But let me focus on England. In the medieval era, in the Wars of the Roses, royalty fought with one another, slaughtering and often raping both peasants and commoners… and they left behind them unstable kings who were sometimes overthrown. There was nothing romantic about it. But then they were above the law… In the 16^th century, King Henry 8th went through six women and chopped off the heads of two of them. He was above the law. In the 17^th century King Charles the Second had a barren wife and left behind him no heir. But he sired at least 16 children from five women – all gentlewomen and most duchesses. But, to his credit, he made sure that his offspring were well looked after, the duchesses were honored by his shagging and society didn’t care. But then he was above the law…. In the early 19^th century the heir to the throne was a rake who took women when he pleased. This was George IV. But then along came the Victorian era. Queen Victoria was very prim and her husband was very prim too. No scandals in their court. But Victoria lived for so long that her son Edward had nothing to do but gambling, carousing and bedding women. When finally Victoria died and Edward became Edward VII,  he married and had children and it all looked respectable… but his favourite enjoyment was making use of the brothels of Paris. For some he was called “Dirty Bertie”. His son George V seems to have been upright, but his eldest son was the nitwit Edward VIII who abdicated and who rather liked that German guy Hitler. His brother became King George VI who seems to have done well and there was no scandal about him. And so to his daughter Queen Elizabeth the Second. I have heard no scandal about the queen herself and she worked diligently but [sorry for the easily offended among you] it is now widely rumoured that her consort Prince Philip had many extra-marital affairs… but the delusion of a perfect marriage had to be maintained. And so we come to the present king, King Charles the Third. Like Queen Victoria, Queen Elizabeth the Second lived for a long time so that her heir Charles was – and is – an old man. Has he done anything outrageous? Well when he was young, he did marry a young woman who was as naïve as he was. They had children but the marriage fell apart. His young wife said she was tired of having to put up with “three in a bed” – meaning that another woman was also shagging Charles. Anyway she died in a car crash and he then married the other woman who is now his consort.

Now I know what you are thinking. You think I have just been peddling cheap scandal of the sort that you could find in the gutter press. I would also guess that some of you want to tell me that there are, and have been, dictators and corrupt presidents who have done much worse things than the English monarchy. But I already knew that. One last defence of the English monarchy I have heard that, whenever a member of the royalty had done something obnoxious, somebody says  “ Well they’re only human”. Well yes indeed they are.

All of which brings me back to Walter Bagehot’s statement on royalty: “Its mystery is its life. We must not let in daylight upon magic.” The fact is that the “magic” is now long gone and the “daylight” is loudly shouting. In the U.K., every newspaper and every magazine and every television channel follows what the “royals” are doing, for good or bad. Some very minor members of “the firm” are not in the spotlight; but the major members of “the firm” are in the spotlight. I think the real turning point was in 1987 when younger members of the Royal family took part in a “Royal Knockout” – based on a T.V. show. What it signalled was that the members of the game were trivial twits trying hard to be “just ordinary folks”.

What do I think of the Royal Family now? As far as I know, the great majority of people in England still like having a King [or Queen] and its up to them to say whether or not it should stay that way. But there are now many grumbles in England about the large areas of land that “the firm” owns… and ideas that numbers of the royalty should be scaled down…  and Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor has been of no help.

As a New Zealander, I am far away from England, though I have lived in the place a number of times. Royal members visit New Zealand only every so often, but our country runs itself. Laws are made in New Zealand, not in England, though occasionally New Zealand lawyers appeal to England when they are dealing with thorny cases that have been disputed. So really I’m not the man to say how long it will be until the English royal system is either reformed or has disappeared… or, more likely, it will just go wobbling along.